rudygreenville's Xanga

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 17:38:00 GMT

Engagement?

Because of a recent change in my profile pic, I have had several people ask "Are you engaged?" So I would like to follow that up with....What does it mean to be engaged?

By society's standards it means that I have dated Rachelle for a period of time and have come to the conclusion that I would like to spend the rest of my life with her. So I went out and bought a ring and asked her if she would marry me. If she says yes then great we are engaged, if not I cry myself to sleep. So the engagement process begins and we set a date for the wedding and start to plan that fiasco.

But as everyone knows I am not a traditionalist by any means. If anyone knows our story, you know that it is far from ordinary. So why should our dating/engagement/wedding/marriage be any different. I have said before that I wouldn't date someone if I couldn't see myself marrying them. Well, after 7 months I think I know where I stand.

So again, what does it mean to be engaged. Isn't it at it's basic level, two people who are committed to one another. Two people who know that they are going to spend the rest of their lives. If you agree with me on that definition, then I have been "engaged" for a long time.

Rachelle is the woman that I am going to marry. When will we get married? God only knows. It could be next month it could be three years from now. Neither of us care about a wedding, so more than likely you will get an phone call, email or bulletin post letting you know that we are married.

Hope that this clears things up for everyone. If not it's because you still want a nice clean label on everthing in life and you need to work past that.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Mon, 29 May 2006 18:33:36 GMT

Yes, I'm a Liar

I know that I said over a month ago that I would be putting up a new post within the week. Obviously that didn't happen. But I have good reason. And NO, it is not because of Rachelle. If anything she has been neglected just like the rest of you. I started working a second job again so now I am working 75-85 hours a week. Why do I torture myself? Most of you probably spend more time watching movies or televesion each week than I do sleeping. But I'm not looking for sympathy.

So what does all of this mean. I am not promising to post anything new for quite some time. Also don't be offended if I don't reply to comments in a timely manner. I will still check periodically but it is not at the top of my priority list for the next year.

So long everyone

Monday, April 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 01:20:40 GMT

Soon to be updated

Well I'm back to the blogging world once again. I'll be posting a new article by the end of this week. Hopefully it will be a good one. I've also changed the music for those of you who have complained.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 03:11:48 GMT

Farewell

I thought I should put a final good-bye out there to everyone. I'm not sure when or how I will go but I know the end is coming soon. That's right, I am entering into my 24th year of life. Only a few understand the significance of this. So start the pools now and good luck.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 21:42:25 GMT

Here I Go Again

I'm sorry to a certain few that I am going back to revisit an old topic. I have never done a post on this but I have talked to several individuals about it. However, after a conversation this weekend I'm fired up all over again, so bear with me.

So I got to see a few people this weekend that I don't get to spend a lot of time with. Two of these people sit at opposite ends of the spectrum with me. Both are Christians but each have a different approach to life. One of them (we will call her Kelly just to respect privacy) has more life in her that few can match. She is always up beat, can make anyone smile and has a true heart for kids. Kelly does have a few rough edges (at least so as the world defines it) but they are only detrimental to her.

Then we have Amber (another alias) who gives Christians a bad name. She walks around in her little holy bubble and condemns everyone around her. She thinks she is perfect because she does the "right" and "Christian" things. Completely oblivious to her own flaws she believes that everyone should act and behave as she does.

So after lunch on Saturday Kelly went to have a cigarette and I went with her to keep her company and finish a conversation we were having earlier. Well Amber was completely appalled that I could be around Kelly while she was having a cigarette. Not only does Amber find it disgusting she also finds it to be a horrible sin and I as a Christian shouldn't associate with that type of behavior. Did I mention that Amber was brought up very sheltered and still lives in that shelter oblivious to the rest of the world and reality.

You can imagine how I reacted when Amber confronted me with this. Yes, I yelled but I didn't storm off afterwards. I then proceeded to attempt to have an intelligent conversation with her but I don't think she ever grasped the concept that I was trying to present to her. But starting a conversation yelling puts the other person on the defense instead of them being open. I guess I need to work on my approach a little.

Amber is an extreme case but I believe that there is a good bit of her rationale inside most of us. Somehow we have come up with a sin ranking system that has no solid foundation. Things such as smoking and drinking have become a complete abomination without any real reflection on why. A quick disclaimer: I don't support habitual smoking or alcoholism.

So why is smoking so sinful. Yes it is definitely unhealthy and dependencies can make our Christian walk difficult. But wouldn't coffee fall into this same category. If your immediate thought was "NO" then you have let society feed you your beliefs and probably need to take a step back and rethink this.. Why shouldn't coffee or Coca-Cola (I know plenty of people with that addiction in their lives) be put into the same category as smoking? Do they both not alter your state of awareness?

Smoking like drinking coffee is not one of those things that most of us pick up and love immediately. Like beer it's more of an acquired taste. People start smoking either because of peer pressure or they enjoy the effects. Being one who smoked for about a year (most of 2004) I learned it was a way to relieve stress and to stay awake while driving (Sorry Mom and Dad if this is the way you found that out). Well the same is for Coffee. Most of us started either because we wanted to feel grown up or we found it's amazing potential to wake us up or keep us going through a late night of studying. Either way we are after the effects.

Some might argue that smoking is more addictive than coffee. From personal experience, I had an easier time quitting to smoke than I did drinking coffee. Also you might argue that drinking coffee is not nearly as damaging to your health as smoking is. And to that you will not get an argument out of me. But if smoking is a greater sin due to the health factor then we really need to start alienating those who are overweight.

So then you might criticize others for not turning to God instead of smoking, alcohol or drugs when they are having problems in their lives. Because what is one of the least followed tag lines in the church: "God will supply all of our needs". Do we actually believe that. That God will supply not only our physical but emotional needs.

Imagine this: We get everyone in a church to quit their caffeine addictions starting on a Saturday. Come Sunday morning could you imagine what that service would be like. Some would not be awake or fully functional while other we be very irritable ( I know I was when I quit drinking coffee). But why would people feel this way, shouldn't being in the house of God and worshiping with other believers be enough to wake you up and be excited and ready to attack the day. I hope that some of you are beginning to see the reality of life. If not, keep reading so I can make it more clear.

Or here is another way of looking at it. How many Christians do you know who are on some type of mood altering medication. Antidepressants, sedatives, uppers, downers and stimulants run rampant. How many parents can't control their children and the answer is Ritalin or Adderall. Life is stressful so you have to take something to bring you down so you don't blow-up on everyone around you. Or you have slipped into depression and what is the answer? Pop a pill. And these drugs are just as addictive and habit forming as smoking, drinking or drugs. But we have put the nice little label of "regulatory" on medication so it isn't offensive.

But all of these are medically proven and under the care of a physician. Well, I can guarantee that when I get stressed out and have a cigarette that it relaxes me and helps me think clearer. Face it, in all of these situations we don't view God as enough for us. We don't believe his spirit and comfort can actually help us through it and we need something more tangible and instantaneous. It's easier to pop a pill or take a drag than to trust him and alter our way of thinking.

So why did I go into all of this. To open the eyes of Christians to be a little more tolerant or at least a little more consistent. If we are going to condemn the smokers and the drinkers than we need to condemn the overweight and everyone on a mind altering prescription. If we are going to have coffee pots in the church then lets put ashtrays outside. Basically as Christians we need to get over ourselves because we constantly push those away who are guilty of the same things we are.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 23:54:44 GMT

Emasculated by Name

When I mention "quiche" or "luge", what comes to your mind? I can guarantee that it is nothing masculine. These names provoke the idea of something weak or feminine. Well this weekend I attempted to enjoy both of these (made quiche Friday night and watched the luge events in the Olympics), but my masculinity came into question.

Let me help strengthen the case for these two. Quiche is composed of milk, eggs, cheese and meat. It is a protein pie. The only way it could be manlier is if you somehow incorporated beer into the recipe.

As for luge, the only thing weak about it is its name. How many of us would be willing to lie down on our backs, feet first on a sled with no brakes. Then send yourself down a frozen course approaching speeds of 90 mph. Also if you want to achieve the fastest time then you need to keep your head back as much as possible (which means your almost driving blind) and the only way you can steer your sled is with body english and pressure with you calve muscles. Not exactly the safest sport in the world. Let me clarify that I am only discussing singles luge. Doubles definitely fall into the gay category.

So who do we have to thank for these names that bring down the respect level of two masculine items. You guessed it, the French. Thanks guys. It shows that even the sound of something containing an ounce of testosterone makes you nervous.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 04:13:57 GMT

Always Advancing

I want everyone to keep this one phrase in mind while driving: "Always Advancing". I think that most people would agree that the worst part of Atlanta is the driving. There are many things that could help improve the traffic in Atlanta, such as: the DOT getting their act together, taking away the licenses of anyone over 70 or anyone who applies for a handicapped license plate, and not allowing the state patrol to sit on the side of the road during rush hour traffic.

"Always Advancing" is way to keep traffic moving and giving more room to the idiots and risk takers ( I put myself in this category ). After being a delivery driver in the Atlanta area for the past 2 1/2 years and also having a 25 mile one-way commute everyday, I believe I have found the solution.

Their is nothing worse than to have two cars in lanes right next to each other who want to go the same speed. One car seems to sit in the other person's blind spot and they are oblivious to everything else. Being an aware driver doesn't mean you just pay attention to the particular lane you are in at that moment or the one you are considering relocating to. Do these people not understand that they are holding up traffic. You are forcing people to tailgate or to attempt a dangerous maneuver to go around you. This is where "Always Advancing" comes in. It doesn't me that you are always advancing past someone. It simply means that no two conjoining lanes have cars that are going the same speed.

I know that the rule is slower traffic is to the right and the speed demons are to the far left. However, in Atlanta with all of the on and off ramps and interstate merges and splits this is just not possible. But it is possible to be aware of the lanes to your left a right and adjust your driving to them. One lane should be moving at least 5 miles faster than the one next to it.

If everyone would just keep this in mind then we wouldn't have cars bunched up as closely, people sitting in blind spots, and there would be more room for people to switch lanes.

Oh, and if someone is riding your bumper then get over because it's probably me and you are slowing me down.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 22:21:44 GMT

HELP WANTED: Vigilante

First go a read this story coming out of Ft. Lauderdale, FL.

If you didn't, go back and watch the video and read the updates.

So these idiots were caught on a surveillance camera beating one man do death and are suspects in two other beatings that happened that same night. They can be clearly identified so there goes pleading innocent. So what is the next best thing, an insanity plea. Also, the prosecutors are trying to decide is they will prosecute one of the boys as a minor or an adult (he is 17).

What a waste of time and tax payers money. They don't deserve a trial. If I had it my way they would be killed in the same brutal manor as their victims ( can I have one swing ). And what is this insanity plea. If they truly are that crazy or were on some substance at that time, they are still not safe for society. I'm not sure that this is something you can rehabilitate from or would want to take the risk on.

But if for some reason they end up in prison then I hope Bubba doesn't wait for them to drop the soap. What is really needed is for someone to go ahead and take care of them and give this world actual justice. Why he is at it, take care of Andrea Yates ( the woman who drowned her 5 children in the bathtub). Letting these people carry on their lives with so much overwhelming evidence against them only makes a mockery of our judicial system.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 03:15:12 GMT

Somewhat at Peace

Just to give everyone a quick update, I will be postponing my life as a hermit in the Appalachian mountains. Due to finances, a few of my irresponsible actions and the steady diet of curve balls that life feeds me; I will not be leaving for Camp Greenville this May. New plans (God willing) are to stay here for probably the next three years and finish school and prepare myself for a future life of poverty.

So obviously I am slightly bummed about these new plans but at the same time have an amazing peace about it (God really has sick and twisted sense of humor which will be one of the first issues I bring up with him when we reach eternity). This past Sunday I took a suicide run down to Waycross, GA to see the family. While 8 1/2 hours of driving might not be the most productive of days it was still relaxing. But on the way home I got to witness one of the most spectacular sun sets I have been present for. Driving down Hwy. 82 heading towards Tifton there was a partly cloudy sky that turned into waves of red, magenta, pink and purple. An unpicked field of cotton seemed to be on fire as it reflected the colors above. ( Let this be a lesson to everyone to always have your camera handy)

These are the moments that stir me down to the core of my being. I get the same feeling every time I am driving up Hwy. 11 in South Carolina heading towards Camp Greenville. There is stretch in the road where you climb up a long hill and once at the top Table Rock comes into view. Immediately I relax and feel I am home. Basically I like to be away from the city, most people and able to enjoy what God created.

So Sunday as I was enjoying the sunset I knew that God would not deprive me of the life I love forever. So as long as I can experience something like that every few months, I should be able to make it through the next few years.

However, Atlanta as a city still sucks. But thanks to the music of Alison Krauss and Union Station it does have a little appeal.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 00:00:33 GMT

Reunion and Revelation

Anyone missed me? I haven't written in a while because I am the proud new owner of an Alienware computer. Well, I've finally played with it enough that I can get back to using it for basic functions (such as sharing my views).

So I had the privilege about 3 weeks ago of running into my former philosophy professor. Out of the entire semester I believe I only missed two of his classes and if you know me then you understand that this must have been a great class. Despite our opposing views on religion (myself a Christian, him a former seminary student turned agnostic who is out to destroy Christianity) I would like to think of myself as his star student that semester. Of course I'll always do well in a class when all you do is sit around and talk and there is no such thing as a wrong answer.(However, there was a wrong way to present your answer) After exchanging a few pleasantries he brought up a discussion that we had in class one day.

On this particular day we were discussing Friedrich Nietzsche and his views towards Christianity and God. Now, my class was full of Christians so I like to play devils advocate. Don't worry, I didn't turn to the dark side and support all of Nietzsche's teachings. However, there is one point that he makes that I had to side with. This is the idea that man is self serving. We put our needs first and everything we do is to our personal benefit. I do not believe that there is such a thing as a selfless act.

So let me start explaining my view with defining what most come to believe as a selfless act. A selfless act is one that does not benefit one physically, financially or socially. You spend some time and money at a soup kitchen to help the poor and now you are selfless. Wrong! You are still feeding your emotional or spiritual needs. (I believe there was a friends episode concerning this subject)

Most of us however have a deeper need or desire. That is to feel that we are valuable or beneficial. We want to believe that we are apart of something bigger than ourselves and that somehow we are on a higher level of thinking or existence.

So after we discussed this in class a fellow student and Christian in the class asked me how I could be a Christian and still have this view. So I asked her why she served God. Her response was this: “I serve God because I love him and want to be with him in Heaven.” Did she think before she spoke? I then proceeded to point out her selfish ways in that she was still benefiting from serving God because she received love and there was the reward of heaven. So my next question to her was: “Would you love or serve God if he hated you?” At that point the conversation was over. She just realized how self centered she really was.

So, back to the conversation with my professor. After going over this event he asked me since I had this view if it made me doubt my belief in God. For some it might, but for those people I believe it is because they have put themselves up on a pedestal. They have forgot what they truly are, a sinner. I told him it actually strengthened my belief in the Christian God because who would love a person that would always been centered on themselves to the extent he does.

I’m never one to focus on grace. I am definitely more of a works based minded person. Not that we need works in order to be saved but you serve God and if you screw up it’s your problem. But we need to focus on Grace. Yes, we are forgiven of our sins but we never rise above committing sin. So use this to keep yourself in check. We are all selfish sinners and it is only by God's grace that we ever amount to anything!